Funny quotes about death too

And, here are some funny quotes about death. Why? Because death holds fascination…

Here, the master of funny quotes about life and what better man to start off with than George Burns who said “If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
“A belief in hell and the knowledge that every ambition is doomed to frustration at the hands of a skeleton have never prevented the majority of human beings from behaving as though death were no more than an unfounded rumor.” Aldous Huxley.
“The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife – a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but nobody will know where it is being held.” Woody Allen.
“I don’t want to express an opinion. You see, I have friends in both places.” Mark Twain.
“Heaven for climate, Hell for society.” Mark Twain

There is a lot of Mark Twain in this section of funny quotes about death, one more before I finish.

“Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.” Mark Twain

Okay, so not really funny but a good quote nonetheless.

“Arthur hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction there and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife.” Douglas Adams.
“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.” George Bernard Shaw.
And for the last funny quote about death – “Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.” Woody Allen.

Please use the comments section below for your funny quotes about death.

Death is no laughing matter…or is it? Try some of these funny quotes about death…

Mark Twain said “The report of my death was an exaggeration.” Mariah Carey “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” Or another from Woody Allen “On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.” Or the Great Sir Winston Churchill who said “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”

Here is a rather good funny quote about death by the great Jay Leno ” According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take “a harder stance” on the death penalty. What’s a harder stance on the death penalty? We’re already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair.” Or how about this one from Jerry Seinfeld ” A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.”

Last Laughs: Funny Tombstone Quotes and Famous Last Words

Laugh in the face of death! That’s what this bold, brash, and often irreverent collection of epitaphs encourages readers to do. It offers more than just the deceased’s name and dates of birth and death, plus a touching phrase in memorial. Instead, every fascinating quote presents an unexpectedly cheeky perspective on the tragic, like this one from Uniontown, New Jersey: “Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake.”

Some come from the gravestones of the famous: Bette Davis’s proudly notes that “she did it the hard way.” Each thought-provoking line makes an indelible contribution to our folklore.