Funny Quotes About Death

Funny quotes about life is all about poking fun at life in general, and seeing that death is a part of life, it’s got to be a part of this site. How can death be made funny…why not? Here are some of the best funny quotes about death Woody Allen “It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” And here is the great “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying.” Emo Philips “I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.” Patrick Moore “At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I’m not there I carry on as usual.”

Death is no laughing matter…or is it? Try some of these funny quotes about death…

Mark Twain said “The report of my death was an exaggeration.” Mariah Carey “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” Or another from Woody Allen “On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.” Or the Great Sir Winston Churchill who said “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”

Here is a rather good funny quote about death by the great Jay Leno ” According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take “a harder stance” on the death penalty. What’s a harder stance on the death penalty? We’re already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair.” Or how about this one from Jerry Seinfeld ” A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.”

« Previous Page

Please Add Your Funny Quotes About Life To The Comments Section Below For Inclusion In Our Upcoming Section Of Readers Funny Quotes