I am going to start this section on funny quotes about drinking with a quotation from the Bard himself, he stays “O God! That men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains.” William Shakespeare from Othello.

Most of us drink at least at one time or another, so, funny quotes about drinking should come naturally to all of us.

“I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry.” Robert Benchley.
“I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?” WC Fields.
“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapon, but at the very least you need a beer.” Franks Zappa.
“There are some sluggish men who are improved by drinking, as there are fruits that are not good until they are rotten.” Dr. Samuel Johnson.
“I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn’t know how to play them when I was drunk.” Richard Burton.

One of the best inventions man ever made was beer, in my opinion, funny quotes about drinking are the second best invention, again only my opinion.

“The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings.” Arthur Lewis.
“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen,” Dave Barry.
“The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.” Jeff Foxworthy.
“Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we’re not poets.”
“I would never do crack… I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?” Denis Leary.

Please enter your funny quotes about death in the comments section.  See our other sections on funny quotes about life.